So~ I went to find a picture to go with my talk about “starting my psychology paper while taking a marvelous dump.” Just so I can say I did it. And I instead came across some Psychologist pick up lines…
“Sex is on Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. Care to help me self-actualize?”“You remind me of my mother…”
“This isn’t just any cigar.”
“Are you happy to see me, or is that just a defense mechanism?”
“When you fell from heaven, did it leave you with any lasting emotional scars?”
“Baby, do I remember you from my dreams, or is that just a false memory?”
“I’d compare you to my mother, but I don’t want to go down that Freudian slippery slope.”
“I’m a screamer, but don’t worry. The more people hear me scream, the fewer will care.”
Say, baby, when you dream, do you ever dream about waves crashing on a beach?
(Why, yes!)
The waves represent my penis. The beach represents your unconscious yearning for my penis.“I’ll be a prisoner, you be a guard. Abuse me!”
“”You’re into threesomes? Great, ’cause I’ve got split personality.”
“Are you real, or are you a delusion? Either way, nice tits.”
“Do come lay on my couch… With me.”
“Hey babe, want me to penetrate you exactly 62 times?”
“Who’s your daddy? Do I remind you of him?”
“Why don’t I show you my giant inkblot, and you can tell me what you see?”
If anyone came up to me and talked to me like that, I think I’d laugh my ass off. In a very demeaning way. Why?1. Unfortunately, I’d know most of what they’re talking about. No, I don’t want to date someone like my daddy—but unfortunately, I am atm.
2. I’m already dating someone.
3. I’m a bitch.
4. There is no four.
Now, onward to my Psychobiography about myself!
RACHAEL USE ONE OF THESE TOMORROW WITH YOUR SMILE OKAY
(via postmodernmodernism)
Source: n3rd-sanctuary
